I just finished watching the Real World/Road Rules Challenge (The Ruins!) grand finale. Bill Simmons, one of my favorite columnists, frequently talks about the Challenge as America’s “Fifth Professional Sport.” Full of roided out guys, svelte chicks with fake breasts and booze in place of energy drinks, the Challenge is an athletic competition as designed by 16 year old boys, which makes it an awesome way to kill some time and brain cells. My favorite part about these things is trying to imagine these people living a normal life:
“Hey Evan, what did you do after we left the office last night?”
“Bro, I F’ing slammed some vodka, poured some wax on my nipples, shot some juice into my ass and totally screamed at this chick that was hitting on my bro. It was awesome!!!!”
“Ummm…did you get that report done that I asked you to do?”
“Yeah bro, that shit was hard. I was like ‘how do you like spell all of these words right’? But then my computer did this crazy thing with the words, like underlining them and shit, and I was like ‘bro! my computer knows these words are spelled wrong'”!
“So did you fix the words before you sent it to the client?”
“No bro, I did some pushups and then chased some dogs around the neighborhood.”
I think MTV is actually attempting to make its viewers try to kill these people. I’m eagerly waiting for the first Real World “cast member murder by a citizen of the host city.” The Feed:
Something for the ladies: a quick review of some outdoor oriented winter sweaters. Ones that will fit in on the slopes or on the trails, not at the completely original and so totally unique “Ugly Sweater Party” that you just got an evite to.
Lance is saying that Team Radioshack is not solely going to be organized around him this year. Kind of a crazy admission by a dude that has basically created teams based on the idea of him being the alpha dog for the entire race. Pretty cool progression in attitude.
But he totally redeemed himself by pairing with a company and team that knows how to design a cool bike for the Tour. I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to fight with you. Bro hug!
Ms. Heidi Swanson is thinking Seeded Flatbread goes well with cold weather and soup. Heidi: I also go well with cold weather.
Bradley Wiggins, the Brit that took 4th in last year’s Tour, has left Garmin-Transitions for Britian’s Team Sky. This has got to be a huge blow to Garmin, as Wiggins was one of their top riders and best hopes for a podium finish. My theory: Chipotle dropped their sponsorship and Wiggins got mad that the burrito gravy train dried up. I would be out of there too Brad. Burrito deprivation is nothing to take lightly.
The Everest mentality as applied to backcountry skiing: just because you have money and can manage a blue at a resort does not mean that you are adept enough to tackle what these companies throw at you. I don’t like this.
Heading out into the cold. Enjoy the day everyone!